Bank holiday Sunday and Cardiff is playing host to the nation’s lesbian and gay community ( L.B.T. For those travelling by train). But hold on a minute, in a small corner of an industrial area, Alpha males are to be found. Not for them, rainbows, pink cowboy hats and cowboy chaps. These are real men, males who will only go dewey eyed when they hear the Last Post or read of heroic acts in defence of Queen ( the real one) and country. Two players failed to turned up due to recent back injuries, hopefully not sustained on the weekend,  but were we deterred?

For a spur of the moment event I was very pleased that ten of us made it to the start line. Two rounds were fought on the day, with three on-lookers who either were too nervous or drunk to take part this early on a Sunday. The great joy of 28mm is of course the miniatures. We had allowed contestants to bring any army from the rules, with only the most ambitious/ organised taking us up on the offer. 

Unfortunately, the Don would face me! My Almoravids had a good number of elite spearmen but couldn’t match the width of the alpine supermen.

My wonder weapon was of course my newly painted camel riders. After dodging some unpleasant remarks about ammo belts and Mausers( I bought Tauregs but they were more appropriate for facing the Foreig Legion). However, they did remarkably well. Their charge from the dunes bested knights and light horse. But something dreadful was happening to my left, Mr. Jackson was reading the rules to Eddie “Glue”.

It’s always worrying to see Chris reading, it usually means that trouble is brewing. We used the colour chart to gauge Chris’ anger levels and play proceded. On the other table, serenity was the order of the day, as Mike Lane took on Andrew’s Hindus.

On my table, Don’s steamroller had hit and I was on the ropes. But, my camels were in full effect!

Don was busy skewering the faithful in the centre but my camels were worth their weight in gold. With a break through on my right, they were able to assist the fight in the centre, chase crossbowmen and loot the camp. Their exploits managed to get us a draw against the master of the green cloth.

I would face Andrew in the second game, or rather Eddie barged in and demanded that we show him the secrets of playing with a Galatian army. Andrew smirked and sat Cheshire Cat like on a ridge. Whilst I was consigned to the orchard on the flank, Eddie had that blood thirsty look on his face. He had faced down Chris and now wanted the title of “Hindu Kush” – translated as killer of Hindus of course.

Team England brought out Mr.Hacker  to calm down Mr. Jackson. I’m sure you have heard the phrase ” red rag to a bull” well, Steve had brought more flags than Medieval Italy could have ever produced on child powered looms.

Mike Lane faced off against the Don. We had always hoped that the Tourney would bring out neglected metal and Mike’s Persians were a joy to behold. Not a transfer anywhere!

They may have been pretty but Don had changed to his early option, Selucids. It did gain Mike the ” newcomers” award for his gallant play.

On my table, I skulked in the undergrowth as Eddie enacted our plan. The uphill charge against elephants! If only we could have known……

It was dreadful. I know the old phrase beloved of the miserly is ” it was my dice” but really! The Galatians were destroyed and what sounded like a baby elephant was rampaging on the table behind me. The Viking flank March had failed to arrive and Jarl Jackson wasn’t happy.As security was called to separate Chris from his opponent, it was time to call a halt! Chris was now a shade of purple and maths was needed to determine the winners, it was so close! Good job, two mathematical geniuses were on hand. One however was the tourney administrator….

Don had come second and Andrew ,after calculations that made Diane Abbot’s economic forecasts appear believeable, Andrew had won the first ever round of the Despertaferres Cup. Security was again called to reduce the number of plastic cups being thrown at the English team captain! Next round planned for last Sunday in September t.b.c..