Wargaming, like many competitive hobbies, often involves a mix of skill, strategy, and sometimes luck. After losing my game this Friday I decided to list my possible responses. Players might offer various excuses for losing a game. Here are some of the most common ones:

Bad Dice Rolls ( or cards): Players often blame their luck when the dice don’t roll in their favor, leading to poor performance in critical moments. The floor in this is of course that it presupposes your opponent did not out-play you, there were merely “ luckier”. Use this excuse with care!

Misinterpretation of Rules: Some might claim they lost due to misunderstanding or misapplying the rules, whether it’s their own misconceptions or relying on incorrect information. Cardiff Dice Studz refuse to use any set of rules that could not be understood on first reading by a drunk nine year old of limited academic ability. Don’t bring a spreadsheet of codex: neither are welcome here!

List Build Issues: Many players will say their army or list wasn’t optimized for the matchup or that they didn’t bring the right units. We have stopped development of Bolt Action after reading of the contortions available to the tourney cheese monkeys 🙉;a dismounted officer with Cossacks, a lend lease Stuart and twenty two light mortars??? Get real!

Terrain and Setup: Some will blame unfavorable terrain or deployment setups that limited their strategic options. Sid kindly ran club members through the To the Strongest terrain rules that we had all been studiously avoiding for years. Two nameless players immediately started building a Hastings style ridge across their respective tables. The guilty know who they are…..

Time Constraints: Players might argue that they were rushed for time, impacting their ability to think through their moves. Only one new member is allowed out after nine o’clock due to tags/ girlfriend/ wife/ care worker issues. Ah wives and loved ones; may they never meet!!!

Opponent’s Skill: A common excuse is acknowledging that the opponent was simply more skilled or experienced. Try practising my dear initiate! The more you play, the less you lose!

Distractions: External distractions or personal issues during the game can lead to poor focus, which some use as a reason for their loss. The l.g.s. recent trend for pink hair and men wearing dresses has so far been avoided….so far!

Rule Changes or Errata: If there have been recent changes in the game rules, some might claim that these affected their game negatively. Any game system that routinely fleeces its devotees is suspect. Any player citing an arcane update should be forced to sit in close proximity to Keith as he gorges on his Friday night chicken wings! That should learn him!

Modeling or Assembly Issues: Some players might mention that their models weren’t assembled or painted properly, affecting gameplay (like leaning or falling over). We used to claim that any figure that fell over was an “ act of God” and the loss was irredeemable! After several whole regiments of minis slid off Big Don’s infamous breadroll hills, this has been rescinded!

Fatigue: A long day of gaming can lead to fatigue, and some players might excuse a loss by citing tiredness affecting their decision-making. Most Dice Studz would usually be drunk by nine on a Friday night if they weren’t in the secure accommodation of Firestorm Games. Pour yourself another can, grab yourself another burger and stay the course.

Team Dynamics: In team games, players might blame their loss on the performance of their teammates rather than their own contributions. Our advice is never to sit opposite Sid or expect a team talk from James “ Yarp” Churchill a.k.a The Bulldozer!

While these excuses might be common, many players also reflect on their defeats to learn and improve for future games.

Or alternatively, just wait till your opponent has left the building and let the character assassination begin!

Miguel Julio Benito da Silva Ferres

Cardiff 2025